$SITCHY
Everything we know is below. Everything we do not know says PENDING. Where we have said what we intend to do about a PENDING row, that intention is printed underneath it and labelled as an intention. A plan is not a fact and this page will not blur the two.
This table is generated from a single config file. When the token deploys, the values change because the facts changed — not because someone edited a page.
The two rows that actually matter
On Solana, almost everything a buyer needs to know about whether they can be robbed comes down to two flags on the mint account.
Mint authority is the power to create new supply out of nothing. If the deployer keeps it, a fixed supply is not fixed, and every holder can be diluted to approximately zero at any moment, without warning and without a transaction anyone would notice in advance.
Freeze authority is the power to freeze an individual token account. If the deployer keeps it, they can stop a specific holder from selling while everyone else exits. The price chart looks normal right up until it is your wallet.
Both are visible on-chain to anyone who looks, which is the point: do not take our word for any of this. Once the mint address is on this page, paste it into any Solana explorer or rug-checker and read the flags yourself. If what you find there ever disagrees with what is written here, believe the chain and tell everyone.
Most people should not buy this
Not because it won’t work. Because most people will look at a research desk with a real liquidity pool, a working terminal, and a 165-page joke attached, and see a raccoon. That is fine. There is an entire market of things with roadmaps for them.
The gentleman on the left had a thesis. The thesis was long, it was well argued, and several parts of it were correct. None of that was relevant to the outcome, because the outcome was determined by a maintenance-margin calculation that had not read it. We have read it. That is the whole edge, and we are not going to pretend it is a bigger one than it is.
Could it go to zero? Obviously. It is a meme coin. It has no revenue, no treasury, and no mechanism by which it becomes worth more than someone will pay for it at the moment you want to sell — which, if you have read the thesis, you will recognise as also being true of several things with much better fonts.
RISK: TOTAL. CONVICTION: ALSO TOTAL. We are not going to resolve that tension for you. Use your situational awareness.
What we will not do
This matters more than anything else on this page, so it is stated plainly. We will not manufacture volume, holders, partnerships, endorsements, screenshots, whale buys, or institutional interest. We will not run coordinated pump groups or wash trades. We will not hold undisclosed insider wallets.
We will not imply that any real person owns, endorses, launched, or is associated with this token. Nobody is. The joke works without it, and it stops being a joke the moment somebody buys because they were misled about who else did.
The site is built so this is hard to violate by accident: every unknown value on this page comes from one config file and renders as PENDING until it is genuinely known, and the only live figures anywhere on the site are on the terminal, which names its sources and flags stale data.
Do your own research. Ours is on the site.
The thesis is the argument. The blog is the desk thinking out loud, several times a day. The duty analyst will answer questions and will refuse to give you a number, because anyone giving you a number is lying to you.
And the simulator will tell you the exact move that ends whatever position you are actually considering. Thirty seconds, real arithmetic, no opinion attached. It is the most useful thing here and it is the reason you should believe the rest.
Nothing on this page is financial advice and no figure here predicts a price. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any real person or fund. Use your situational awareness.